The life squeezed out of me

My life is full of planning this month. All of it has gotta do with preparation for exams. As myself, i tend to overplan and in most cases, to very detail. When i overplan, i don just give a grace period by a day or two, i plan to plan for something. If i need 4 days to study for a test, i double that by 4 again, making it 8 days to study for a test. If i need study during study break, i study before study break. If i have to take the bus at 8, i am ready by 7.

All this is just me. I plan far ahead.

But when things come right down to the last minute, it screws me up and my life together with it. My responsibilities and my life are always full of unexpected suprises hence the double planning comes in handy. Then again, too many tasks this month demands so much from what a capable human can do. I have to divide so many things to make up a bit for everything, for the best interest of everybody.

It is exhausting. It gets worst knowing emotions and stress creeps into you and takes over sometimes. It's made hard when I know i'm have my commitments elsewhere. Part of life is being able to find my way out of this struggle.

When my plans are disrupted, i get annoyed, as everyone else does. What's more compulsive, is that i get annoyed as well when my grace-period planning is disrupted. The tendency to over-plan fills up my schedules pretty much of everything, which makes my month full of plannings.

Is there something wrong with my scheduling? Or do i just have the compulsive-behaviour to double plan for something.

Partially, i associate it with the lack of confidence. But then again, confidence is a choice. Therefore i chose to overplan, because by that, only am i confident in achieving something.

So answering myself, no, i don't think i have a planning problem.

Gonna do this silent scream again. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Let's get back to work then shall we.