18th October marks the day i gave my life to Christ. Yet, it is not a process done and finished once and for all. It is just a beginning of the struggles to come, yet, i persist knowing i gave myself up to God to take my life through. Gone were the days that i go around, over and under the problems. Gone were the days i try to run away and ignore difficulties anymore. Christ is here to live in me, and my body is His temple.

Professing my love for Jesus, doesn't make me a better person from now on. It's declaring that i'm weak, and i need Him. I'm still a sinner, no different from the rest of the world. Yet, following Jesus gives me hope. Hope to change, hope to pick myself up and hope to be forgiven.

I have nothing to give to God. There is nothing i can be proud of in my life that i can say before Him ,"Lord, i am proud of myself as a good person". For what is the meaning of my life, compared to His pureness, awesomeness and holiness.

I'm wicked, sinful and evil. I'm capable of all those things. Many asked, why did God create evil? Why didn't just wipe out evil once and for all? God did not created evil. Men did. The sooner we stop blaming God for everything, the sooner we realise how small and weak we are. If God were to wipe out all evil, there would be no one left on Earth the next second.

Yet, Jesus willingly gave Himself up for me. For what? Because i'm worth it? Because i deserved it?

~ To show us, the true meaning of love ~



Unshamed by Starfield (Link to song)

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete