Personal Relationship

Last Friday at OCF, we talked about personal relationship.

Personal relationship seems relatively easy to understand; it involves 2 people. I believe relationships are important because we as humans are wired that way. Having said that, i do believe that we are made to have relationships and not live this world alone. Have you ever felt the need for relationship everyone you are alone? Think back to the times when you were home alone for the whole day, or when you come to a new country and a new place, or when you enter a room full of strangers. No doubt, some may say, they like to be lonely, but after a period of time, there is this 'need' for relationship.

Loneliness does not necessarily mean absense of sociality. It could mean, absense of people you know, or absense of something greater than you. After a certain threshold, we do feel that 'thirst' for relationships. As i have mentioned, i believe as humans, we are wired that way. Not only are we built for relationships, we are meant to have them.

Loneliness brings emptiness as well. When we feel empty, often we try to keep ourselves busy to get rid of the emptiness, but it doesnt stop us from being lonely. We can try and try to keep busy, just to break the emptiness feeling, but what keeps us making ourselves busy? Can you say i'm motivated by emptiness to get rid of emptiness? It doesnt solve the overall problem; loneliness.

Loneliness works in funny ways. I have friends around me 24/7, and yet, i can still feel lonely. I have contacts with my flatmates everyday and yet, i can still feel lonely. This loneliness issue deep inside our hearts is like a doughnut, where cream-fill sauce makes the outside pretty but emptiness fills the inside. Often we try to cure that loneliness by planning our lives with purpose, giving it meaning. We put study, work, marriage, relationships with others and entertainment as means to cure loneliness. It makes sense, i cannot deny it. I do that too. However after all these plans we make, they always come to an end nonetheless. Once i finish my studies, my purpose is complete and i'm back to square one. It's a never-ending struggle to fight loneliness. One temporary solution after another.

Often our future is something that we have no control over and we associate it with something greater than us, like luck, chance, horoscope, favourite number, feng shui etc. All these showcase the 'need' i mentioned about relationship. People want something to be associated with them, something greater to put their hopes on when in emergency. No man dares to say i'm the best and the greatest. He/she would be God. Nonetheless, we always put something far greater than us above us to watch over us. Call it God, call it spirit but again, it shows the 'need' for something greater than ourselves that we want to have a relationship with.

As humans, i believe again, we are created in such a way, that relationships are important. But whatkind of relationships? We often look for meaningful ones, ones that will last forever, ones that will cure that 'need', ones that will take away emptiness in our hearts and loneliness of the world. As horoscopes can define ourselves wrongly sometimes, just as my lucky necklace does too, i know deep in my heart, God's love does not. His relationship is one that is never frustrating, never disappointing and never failing. He said so Himself. His love flows like a river that never ends. That 'need' and 'thirst', call it void, call it space, call it something from nothing, can only be filled with God's love. Everchanging love.

Our hearts are shaped in a certain way. But no matter what way it is, each of us has the same shaped heart, and only one design shall ever fit in it, because only a maker can know which shape to fill it. To find such a maker, we look to our creator. To look at our creator, is to look for our purpose as well, asking questions like why are we here? We tend to think a lot on this issue, what is our purpose? Without purpose, we cease to exist. But we are still here. Thus we know that our maker has a plan for us. He wants to have a relationship with us, which is why, as humans, we always thirst for such a need, because we need relationships.

Relationships are important. Even more so, we have to think what kind of relationships are important. Important in a sense, that they are meaningful and ever-lasting. Not temporary. Loneliness is not an extreme end of togetherness. It is not a scale of 0-10 either. Loneliness just simply means absense of a relationship. You can add friends, but you cannot add loneliness. Even enemies take away loneliness.

As much as i have said, i'm in that sort of stage where i'm like a doughnut. Mostly because i have been looking at the temporary solutions to cure myself of loneliness. At times, i do feel empty as well, and by all means i keep myself busy, yet amongst the busy-ness, emptiness is still there. I can be busy doing things and still feel empty. I can have a hundred friends chatting with me, yet still feel lonely.

Dear God, i pray and pray, that in times such as this, your never-ending love still rests on me, to keep me from the loneliness of such a heart. I pray for a changing heart that is seeking You. I pray for my friends, readers and friends of friends Lord, that You may answer the voids in their hearts when faced with loneliness or emptiness and show them that having a relationship with You, fills such a horrible gap that haunts us everyday. Amen